DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My best friend is a good person and has a lot going for her.
But she also likes to party hard on the weekends and more than once has ended up in trouble.
Not long ago she was so over-the-top drunk that she got us bounced from a club we had been going to for a long time. She gets loud and sometimes mean and now some friends refuse to meet up with us when they know she is going to be there.
I don’t think she is an alcoholic or anything like that, but I think she is headed for bigger trouble if she doesn’t lay off the drinking.
How do I say something to her? --- WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND
DEAR WORRIED: You’re right to be worried about your friend.
She may not be an alcoholic, but she could very well be a “problem drinker.”
The line between social and problem drinking is crossed when alcohol consumption begins to have adverse effects on the drinker’s life.
Many outgrow the party drinking after getting good and scared by something they did or almost did.
It sounds like it’s time you and maybe a few more friends had an honest conversation with your BFF when she’s completely sober to let her know what you and others are seeing.
Expect pushback, but don’t give up.
It could take several attempts on your part, or an eye-opening realization on hers that she is not in control of herself when she’s drunk.
In the meantime, you may need to continue playing guardian angel to make sure she doesn’t do anything really bad that can’t be undone.
DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My best friend is a good person and has a lot going for her.
내친구는 좋은 사람이고 같이해야 할 이유가 많습니다.
But she also likes to party hard on the weekends and more than once has ended up in trouble.
하지만 그녀는 주말이면 격정적인 파티를 좋아해 여러번 문제를 일으켰습니다.
Not long ago she was so over-the-top drunk that she got us bounced from a club we had been going to for a long time.
얼마전에는 그녀가 술에 너무 취해 우리가 오래동안 다니던 클럽으로부터 쫒겨났습니다.
She gets loud and sometimes mean and now some friends refuse to meet up with us when they know she is going to be there.
그녀는 씨끄럽기도 하고 가끔은 저질스럽게 굴어, 이제는 그녀가 있는줄 알면 친구들이 우리 만나것을 거절합니다.
I don’t think she is an alcoholic or anything like that, but I think she is headed for bigger trouble if she doesn’t lay off the drinking.
나는 그녀가 알콜중독자나 그와 비슷한 같은 것일 꺼라고 생각하지는 않지만 그녀가 술을 끊지 않으면 더 큰 문제를 일으킬 것이라고 생각합니다.
"is headed for"
"~~쪽으로 가다"라는 의미로 "go to"와 비슷합니다.
하지만 약간 어감이 다릅니다.
"go to"가 "~~로 가다"라는 의미라면
"be headed for"는 "~~쪽으로 향하다"라는 의미로 보면 좋을것 같습니다.
She spun around and headed for her car.
그녀는 훽 돌아서 그녀의 차로 향했다.
She donned her bathing suit and headed for the pool.
그녀는 수영복을 입고 풀로 향했다.
She and her husband have a lot of serious problems, and it is apparent to me that she is headed for a divorce.
그녀와 남편은 문제가 많다. 내가 보기에 그들은 이혼으로 갈것 같다.
How do I say something to her? --- WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND
내가 그녀에게 뭐라고 해야 할까요?
DEAR WORRIED: You’re right to be worried about your friend.
당신이 친구에 대해 걱정하는 것은 옳은 일입니다.
She may not be an alcoholic, but she could very well be a “problem drinker.”
그녀가 알콜중독자는 아닐지 모르지만 문제가 많은 음주자일 가능성은 큽니다.
The line between social and problem drinking is crossed when alcohol consumption begins to have adverse effects on the drinker’s life.
친교를 위해 술을 마시느냐 문제를 일으키기 위해 술을 마시느냐 하는 경계선은 술을 마심으로써 그 사람 인생에 역효과를 가져오기 시작할 때입니다.
Many outgrow the party drinking after getting good and scared by something they did or almost did.
많은사람들이 (문제를 일으키는) 파티음주를 벗어나게 되는 것은 그들이 한 일이나, 할 뻔한 일때문에 큰일을 당하거나 몸서리치는 일이 있고 난 뒤입니다.
It sounds like it’s time you and maybe a few more friends had an honest conversation with your BFF when she’s completely sober to let her know what you and others are seeing.
이제 당신과 몇몇 친구들이 그녀가 완전 제정신일때 당신들이 목격했던 일들을 얘기헤주기 위해 그녀와 솔직한 대화를 가져야 할때입니다.
"Sober Up"이란 제목의 재미있는 노래 하나
Expect pushback, but don’t give up.
그녀가 반박할 것을 예상히십시오, 하지만 포기하지 마십시오.
It could take several attempts on your part, or an eye-opening realization on hers that she is not in control of herself when she’s drunk.
그렇게 되려면 당신쪽에서 여러번 노력하거나, 술을 마시면 자제가 불가능하다고 그녀 스스로가 깨닫게 되는 정신 확 뜨이는 일이 있어야 합니다.
In the meantime, you may need to continue playing guardian angel to make sure she doesn’t do anything really bad that can’t be undone.
그러는 동안, 그녀가 돌이킬수 없는 어떤일을 벌이지 않도록 당신이 수호천사 노릇하는 것을 계속해야 할 필요가 있습니다.
DEAR ABBY: I don't like my stepsister, and when she stays with us, I'm forced to share a room with her.
The last time she was here I got so mad at her I pretended to send a text message on my cell and secretly took a picture of her as she got out of the shower.
I knew it was wrong, but it seemed funny at the time.
I sent it to my boyfriend because he doesn't like her either, even though he thinks she has a "hot body."
I thought it would be a joke just between us, but he sent it to some of his friends, and now it's making the rounds.
Luckily, she goes to a different school, so nobody has recognized her, but I'm scared someone will.
I'd give anything to take back what I did. What should I do? -- SCARED STEPSISTER
DEAR SCARED STEPSISTER: You should be scared.
What you did was shameful and dangerous.
Not only was it an invasion of privacy, it is also a crime -- distribution of a pornographic image of a minor.
Now that photo is on the internet, you will not be able to take it back.
Pray that no one in your family finds out, or you may be grounded, like, forever, and your boyfriend will be history.
If the news does get back to your family, prepare yourself for a punishment like no other.
DEAR ABBY: I don't like my stepsister, and when she stays with us, I'm forced to share a room with her.
나는 내 의자매를 좋아하지 않습니다 그런데 그녀가 우리 집에 머물게 되면 내 방을 같이 써야 합니다.
The last time she was here I got so mad at her I pretended to send a text message on my cell and secretly took a picture of her as she got out of the shower.
지난번 그애가 우리집에 왔을때 그애에게 너무 화가나 휴대폰으로 문자를 보내는 척하면서 샤워를 마치고 나오는 그녀를 몰래 찍었습니다.
한국말로는 "누구 누구때문에 미치겠다" 또는 "누구 누구에게 화가 난다" 라는 표현을 합니다.
하지만 "I am mad because of her.(그녀때문에 미치겠다.)이나
"I am mad to her"라고 하지 않습니다.
보통 전치사 at을 사용합니다.
때로는 with을 사용하기도 합니다.
She was mad at her son. (그녀는 아들에게 화가 났다.)
Are you still mad at me? (너는 아직도 나때문에 화가 났니?)
Why are you mad with me?(너는 왜 내게 화를 내니?)
I'm mad at myself for following Tom's stupid advice. (탐의 멍청한 충고를 따른 것때문에 내 자신에게 화가 난다.)
3
I knew it was wrong, but it seemed funny at the time.
잘못인줄 알았지만 당시는 그냥 재미있는 일같았습니다.
I sent it to my boyfriend because he doesn't like her either, even though he thinks she has a "hot body."
그 사진을 남자친구에게 보냈습니다. 그도 그녀를 좋아하지 않기때문입니다. 비록 그가 그녀가 섹시한 몸매를 가지고 있다고 생각하고 있지만요.
I thought it would be a joke just between us, but he sent it to some of his friends, and now it's making the rounds.
나는 그일이 우리 둘만의 장난이라고 생각했지만 그는 몇몇 친구에게 그 사진을 보냈고 현재는 그게 돌아다니고 있습니다.
Luckily, she goes to a different school, so nobody has recognized her, but I'm scared someone will.
다행히 그녀는 딴학교를 다니고 있고, 그래서 아무도 그녀를 알아보지 못합니다. 하지만 나는 누군가 알아볼것이라고 걱정하고 있습니다.
has recognized
"현재 아무도 그녀를 알아보지 못하고 있기"때문에 현재형 동사를 사용해도 될것 같습니다.
"so nobody recognize her,"처럼요.
하지만 여기서는 현재완료를 사용했습니다.
이유는 과거에 일어난 일이 현재까지 계속되고 있는 상황이기 때문입니다.
자세한 설명은 비디오를 참고하시기 바랍니다.
I'd give anything to take back what I did.
내가 한짓을 되돌릴수 있다면 어떤일이라고 할 생각입니다.
What should I do? -- SCARED STEPSISTER
어찌해야 할까요?
DEAR SCARED STEPSISTER: You should be scared.
당신은 걱정하는게 당연합니다.
What you did was shameful and dangerous.
당신이 한짓은 부끄러운 일이고 위험한 일입니다.
Not only was it an invasion of privacy, it is also a crime -- distribution of a pornographic image of a minor.
그일은 남의 사생활을 침법한 것일 뿐만 아니라 범죄입니다. -- 미성년자의 성적사진을 배포한 죄입니다.
Now that photo is on the internet, you will not be able to take it back.
현재 그 사진이 인터넷에 돌고있다면 당신이 일을 되돌릴 방법은 없습니다.
Pray that no one in your family finds out, or you may be grounded, like, forever, and your boyfriend will be history.
당신 가족이 그것을 발견하지 못하도록 기도하십시오, 그렇게 (만일 그들이 발견하게) 된다면, 당신은 영원히 집을 벗어나지 못하고 남자친구는 과거의 사람이 될것입니다.
be grounded
원래는 벌로 "아이들이 외출금지 당하는 것"을 의미합니다.
I stayed out til 1 am last night and now I'm grounded for a week.
나는 어제 새벽1시까지 밖에 있었기 때문에 일주일 동안 외출금지 당했어.
여기서는 "영원히 외출금지 당하다"라는 은유적인 표현으로 쓰인것 같습니다.
If the news does get back to your family, prepare yourself for a punishment like no other.
만일 뉴스가 가족에게 알려지게 되면, 다른것들과 전혀 다른 (엄한) 처벌을 각오해야 합니다.
DEAR ABBY: My 47-year-old son is employed at a prestigious university.
His position involves a considerable amount of travel.
Over the years, he always emailed us his travel plans along with flight information.
Lately, he tells us when and where he is going but omits the flight, hotel information, etc.
When we ask, our requests are ignored.
When we tell him we think it's irresponsible for him not to share this information, his response is, "My secretary has the information if there are any problems."
We always give our children our travel information, flights, hotels, etc. when we travel.
Our question is, are we out of line for wanting this information from him? -- LOVING PARENTS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR PARENTS: You are not out of line for wanting the information; you are out of line for insisting your adult son give it to you over his objection. Your son is 47.
He is no longer a child.
It's time to back off.
DEAR ABBY: My 47-year-old son is employed at a prestigious university.
47세인 우리아들은 한 유명대학에 고용돼 있습니다.
His position involves a considerable amount of travel.
그의 자리는 많은 여행을 포함합니다.
Over the years, he always emailed us his travel plans along with flight information.
몇년동안 그는 항상 비행정보를 포함한 그의 여행계획을 우리에게 이메일로 보내주었습니다.
Lately, he tells us when and where he is going but omits the flight, hotel information, etc.
최근 그는 언제, 어디로 간다는 얘기만 하면서 비행이나 호텔정보 같은 것은 빼먹습니다.
When we ask, our requests are ignored.
우리가 물어보면, 우리 요청은 무시 당합니다.
When we tell him we think it's irresponsible for him not to share this information, his response is, "My secretary has the information if there are any problems."
그에게 그런 정보들을 우리에게 알리지 않는것은 무책임한 일이라고 얘기하면, 그의 대답은 "무슨 일이라도 일어나면 내 비서가 모든 정부를 가지고 있습니다."입니다.
We always give our children our travel information, flights, hotels, etc. when we travel.
우리는 항상 여행할때마다 비행이나 호텔과 같은 모든 정보를 아이들에게 알려줍니다.
Our question is, are we out of line for wanting this information from him? -- LOVING PARENTS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
우리의 질문은, 그에게 그런 정보를 묻는 것이 주제넘는 일인가요?
DEAR PARENTS: You are not out of line for wanting the information; you are out of line for insisting your adult son give it to you over his objection.
그런 정보를 원하는 것은 주제넘지 않습니다, (하지만) 장성한 아들에게 그의 반대에도 무릅쓰고 그런 정보를 요구하는 것은 주제 넘습니다.
DEAR ABBY: I am a diagnosed narcoleptic. Medication helps with the symptoms, but not entirely.
I looked into alternative options and found a fantastic diet.
I recently went on it with amazing results.
My dad's side of the family is Italian, and a huge part of the culture is food.
During celebrations, it's considered offensive to refuse food, and my family has always looked down on diets.
If a family member is on one, they'll argue that it's a special occasion and it's only for one day.
Abby, I'm exhausted at family gatherings.
If I try to turn something down, I get attacked because "Grandma made it," or "It's your favorite and we made it for you."
I have tried explaining to them that I don't want them to alter their dinner arrangements to accommodate me, but I should be allowed to forgo eating foods that will make me feel like a zombie.
They just don't get it, and it has caused arguments.
How do I re-open this discussion without offending anyone? -- PANICKED OVER PASTA
DEAR P. OVER P.: Do it before the celebration by calling your hosting family member and explaining that there are now foods you cannot eat because of your diagnosed medical condition.
Explain that you know they would not feed certain foods to a diabetic, and you need the same dispensation.
Ask them to kindly not put you in the embarrassing position of having to refuse their delicious food, and if they feel it will cause a problem, they should excuse you from the event.
DEAR ABBY: I am a diagnosed narcoleptic.
나는 불면증 진단을 받았습니다.
Medication helps with the symptoms, but not entirely.
약물로 인해 증상을 없애는데 약간의 도움을 받았습니다만 완전하지 않습니다.
I looked into alternative options and found a fantastic diet.
(그래서) 대안을 찾아보았고 환상적인 다이어트 치료법을 발견했습니다.
I recently went on it with amazing results.
나는 요즘 놀라운 효과를 보면서 그것을 계속하고 있습니다.
My dad's side of the family is Italian, and a huge part of the culture is food.
우리 아빠 혈통은 이태리입니다, 그래서 음식이 그들 문화의 커다란 부분입니다.
During celebrations, it's considered offensive to refuse food, and my family has always looked down on diets.
뭔가 축하할 일이 있을때 음식을 거절하는 하는 것은 무례한 일으로 여겨집니다, 그리고 우리 가족은 다이어트를 우습게 생각합니다.
If a family member is on one, they'll argue that it's a special occasion and it's only for one day.
만일 우리 가족에게 축하할 일이 생기면, 그들은 그것이 아주 특별한 경우이고, 그런 일은 그날 밖에 없는 것처럼 생각합니다.
Abby, I'm exhausted at family gatherings.
애비, 나는 가족 모임에 진절머리가 납니다.
If Itry toturn something down, I get attacked because "Grandma made it," or "It's your favorite and we made it for you."
내가 무언가를 거절하려고 하면, "그건 할머님이 만드신 거란다" "그건 네가 좋아하는 것이라서 우리가 만들었다"라는 이유로 나는 공격을 받습니다.
I have tried explaining to them that I don't want them to alter their dinner arrangements to accommodate me, but I should be allowed to forgo eating foods that will make me feel like a zombie.
나는 그들에게, 내 처지 때문에 저녁을 바꾸지 않았으면 좋겠지만 나를 좀비처럼 느끼게 하는 음식을 먹지 않고 지나가도록 허락해 주었으면 좋겠다고 설명해 왔습니다.
They just don't get it, and it has caused arguments.
그들은 그것을 도저히 이해하지 못하며 그것때문에 언쟁이 생겼습니다.
How do I re-open this discussion without offending anyone? -- PANICKED OVER PASTA
어떻게 해야 그들 마음을 상하지 않게 하면서 이 문제를 다시 거론할수 있을까요? -- 파스타 때문에 황당한 사람이
DEAR P. OVER P.: Do it before the celebration by calling your hosting family member and explaining that there are now foods you cannot eat because of your diagnosed medical condition.
모임 전에 그 모임을 주관하는 가정에 전화하여, 요즘 진찰된 건강조건 때문에 못 먹는 음식이 있다는 사실을 설명하면서 그문제를 거론하십시오.
Explain that you know they would not feed certain foods to a diabetic, and you need the same dispensation.
사람들이 당뇨병 환자에게는 어떤 특정한 음식은 제공하지 않는다는 사실을 알고있는 것처럼 당신도 동일한 조치가 필요하다는 것을 설명하십시오.
Ask them to kindly not put you in the embarrassing position of having to refuse their delicious food, and if they feel it will cause a problem, they should excuse you from the event.
당신이 그들의 맛있는 음식을 거절해야 하는 당황스러운 상황에 빠지지 않도록 친절을 배풀어 주도록 요청하시고, 만일 그것이 문제가 된다면, 그들은 당신이 모임에 빠지는 것을 허락해야 합니다.
DEAR ABBY: My parents went through a bitter divorce five years ago and have had little to no contact since then.
During the process of the divorce, their communication was through my siblings and me, which took a toll on us. However, despite the turmoil of the divorce, we are still close to both of them.
I'm a medical student who will be graduating next year.
I recently brought up the idea of having a graduation party, but my father says he refuses to come if Mom or anyone from her side of the family will be there.
This led to a discussion about future weddings and events that will most likely happen soon.
My siblings and I are in our mid- to late-20s, and Dad insists that he won't attend any future events that Mom will attend, even if it's his own child's wedding.
It was extremely difficult to hear.
My siblings and I can't imagine him boycotting something just because he doesn't want to be in the presence of our mother.
We all think he's overreacting and needs to get over the past.
Must we get over the fact that he doesn't want to be around our mother and allow him to skip these important days? -- CHILD OF DIVORCE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CHILD: Your father may be angry, but he is also being selfish and childish.
By telling you what he did, he's attempting to manipulate you into choosing between him and your mother.
By asking me whether you should "allow" him to skip these important milestones, you appear to be under the impression that you can somehow control your father.
You cannot control the actions of another adult.
You can, however, control the way you react to his behavior.
You and your siblings should not allow yourselves to be manipulated. "Remind" your father that if he follows through with his threat, he will be missed, and the only person he'll be hurting is himself.
DEAR ABBY: My parents went through a bitter divorce five years ago and have had little to no contact since then.
우리 부모님들은 5년전 아주 피튀기는 이혼을 했으며 그후 전혀 연락을 하지 않을 정도로 관계가 없습니다.
During the process of the divorce, their communication was through my siblings and me, which took a toll on us.
이혼하는 과정에서 그들의 소통은 우리 남매들을 통해 이루어졌으며 그게 우리에겐 엄청 고통이었습니다.
However, despite the turmoil of the divorce, we are still close to both of them.
하지만 이혼의 소용돌이 속에서도 우리는 여전히 두분과 가깝게 지내고 있습니다.
I'm a medical student who will be graduating next year.
나는 내년 졸업을 앞둔 의대생입니다.
I recently brought up the idea of having a graduation party, but my father says he refuses to come if Mom or anyone from her side of the family will be there.
최근 나는 졸업파티에 대한 생각을 언급했습니다. 하지만 아빠는, 엄마나 그녀의 가족중 누군가가 그곳에 참석하면 자기는 오지 않겠다고 합니다.
This led to a discussion about future weddings and events that will most likely happen soon.
이 (졸업파티) 얘기는 앞으로 있을 결혼이나, 곧 있게 될 여러가지 이벤트에 대한 얘기로 흘렀습니다.
My siblings and I are in our mid- to late-20s, and Dad insists that he won't attend any future events that Mom will attend, even if it's his own child's wedding.
나와 우리 남매들은 20대중반부터 후반이며, 아빠는 엄마가 참석하는 행사는 어떤 행사이건 절대 참석하지 않겠다고 합니다, 자식들 결혼식까지요.
It was extremely difficult to hear.
이것은 정말 듣기 힘듭니다.
My siblings and I can't imagine him boycotting something just because he doesn't want to be in the presence of our mother.
우리 남매들은 그(아빠)가 엄마가 있는 곳에는 나타나고 싶지 않기때문에 그와 같은 행사를 거부한다는 것은 상상하기 어렵습니다.
We all think he's overreacting and needs to get over the past.
우리는 모두 그가 지나치게 굴고 있다고 생각하며, 과거를 떨쳐버려야 한다고 생각합니다.
Must we get over the fact that he doesn't want to be around our mother and allow him to skip these important days? -- CHILD OF DIVORCE IN MICHIGAN
우리는, 엄마가 있는 곳에 그가 오고 싶어 하지 않는다는 것을 받아들이고 그가 이러한 중요한 행사에 참석치 않는 것을 용납해 주어야 할까요?
DEAR CHILD: Your father may be angry, but he is also being selfish and childish.
아빠가 화가 나 있을수 있지만 그것보다 그는 이기적이고 유치합니다.
By telling you what he did, he's attempting to manipulate you into choosing between him and your mother.
그는 그가 하는 짓에 대해 얘기하며, 당신이 그와 엄마 사이를 선택하도록 유도하려고 하고 있습니다.
By asking me whether you should "allow" him to skip these important milestones, you appear to be under the impression that you can somehow control your father.
당신은 내게 "이런 중요한 행사에 아빠가 빠지는 것을 허락해야 할까요"라는 질문을 하면서, 당신이 어느정도 아빠의 행동을 콘트롤할 수 있다고 생각하고 있습니다.
You cannot control the actions of another adult.
당신은 다른 어른의 행동을 콘트롤할 수 없습니다.
You can, however, control the way you react to his behavior.
하지만 그의 행동에 대한 당신의 반응을 콘트롤할 수 있습니다.
You and your siblings should not allow yourselves to be manipulated.
당신과 당신 남매들은 휘둘리지 말아야 합니다.
"Remind" your father that if he follows through with his threat, he will be missed, and the only person he'll be hurting is himself.
당신 아빠에게, 그가 위협을 계속해 나가면 그 없이 모든 일이 이루어질 것이며, (그것으로 인해) 상처받는 사람은 그 자신임을 일깨워 주십시오.
